Added on Sun Jul 09 2017
Today, while I was commuting through train. I don't know, but I didn't feel like sitting although there was enough space to make me fit somewhere in the compartment. As the train passed down the lane towards the next station.
There was a father standing in front of me with his son and I was standing near the door, to let the breeze caress my face through its beautiful touch. And as the train stopped at the next station. He tried to show his son the outside view holding him tight. He told him, "Ghabru nakos tula mi padhayla denar nahi khali, papa aahe na sobat"(Don't be scared I won't let you fall down, your father is there with you).
I wonder if I had ever heard those words during my childhood. You call me at times to know if I'm okay, because most of the times your phone is switched off.
I was in tears, but the scream was unheard. Tell me don't you miss your children's at times? Don't you want to tell them how sorry you are for the wrong doings you did to us? For abandoning us in between the journey of life, for not being a father I always dreamt of you to be. Tell me don't you want to clutch towards me, just to make me realize that you would never let me go.
But then I realize that I would be everything, but I don't want to be like you as a dad. I would be like that dad in the train, someone who'll hold his child tight when he'll be in need of me. I would be like that dad in the train. I would love them the same in the darkness, in fact hold them tight when times would be tough.
How are you these days? You are about to turn 60 soon in a year or so. Will your hands and leg work the same then? Would you be able to still do something to earn your livelihood or else you'll be in need of us. Need of your children's.
How I wish to be everything, but not you. How I wish to serve humanity like you always did, but never abandon the people who deserve my side the most.
But let me tell you, if tomorrow you need us or me. I'll be there standing and let you know no matter what you did to us. I'll never let your behavior reflect in mine. Maybe then you'll realize what wreckage you did. Maybe you'll realize how a dad you should've been.
Because how may I want to be anything, but never a dad like you.